My friend Steve from synagogue probably saved my life this week. He needed a ride back home from choir practice Monday because his son was using his car. While we were riding back to his house, he noticed that the car was making a kind of grinding sound whenever I stopped at the lights. I don't hear so well, and though I sort of noticed a sound, I am sure it wasn't anywhere near as pronounced for me as it would be for someone with normal hearing.
I decided I didn't trust our regular garage to fix it since when I went there last week to get the blowout fixed, I heard them say something things to other customers I found pretty appalling. For example, one woman had left her car there to be fixed last week. After she picked it up, when it was supposed to have been fixed, she found it was still stopping dead in the middle of traffic, and she was, justifiably, afraid. The guy at the counter said the shop was too busy to fix it. She should take it home and bring it back tomorrow. The truth is, she should not have been driving the damn thing at all, never mind bringing it back tomorrow, and he should have shown concern and apologized for sending home a customer in a car that could have gotten her and other people killed. This is the same garage that about a month ago sent me away when I requested help putting air in the tires, saying they didn't have time to do it. How much time would that take? Low air may have ultimately been the reason the tire blew out.
So Steve recommended a garage in Tustin, the next town over, and I went there today. Not only did I find the garage really good and helpful, but I think they charged less for things than the previous place, and in addition, they are located in old town Tustin, a little village of a place I had driven through many times, but never gotten out of the car and walked. I found when I did that that all kinds of little shops emerged from the alleyways, places that remained invisible to me as I zipped by them in the car, bound from one place to another.
Today I had time, while I was waiting for the garage to assess the damage to my car (which turned out to be completely shot front breaks and three leaks that needed patching in the oil system and a new hose and clamps for the radiator), I had time to wander aimlessly. I went into the shopping center across the street and had a yogurt, poked around in the Laxmi Indian grocery and sweets story, taking time to check out their pungent lunch buffet (just looking) and to sniff the sweet smell of the Japanese bakery and Cream Pan (just sniffing), and then wandered down the long block looking at the funky little stores and alleyways. I had a thoroughly terrific time, particularly since I was discovering something that had been hidden in plain sight. I have always loved quaint little towns, and it seems that this was one I had completely overlooked, though I've been in it dozens of times.
I'll pick up the car tomorrow morning. Hope it's fixed.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Squared Away
I have finally gotten everything ready for my parents' move. The only thing we have to do now is actually get the stuff to the new place. Also, I am concerned because my dad's bed will be moved on Saturday night, which means he has to spend that night at our house. That won't be easy. We have to give him his medications, and I don't know how. So I'll have to contact Suzie, and ask her about it. Or else we can send him to the new place for Saturday night, but that probably won't work. I could ask the place where they live now to put another bed back in their present room, but I really don't want to ask them for anything. It's the details that make things difficult.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Torah for the new year
Last night, a few diehard Torah groupies met in the freezing library at the synagogue to discuss a parashah--Numbers 8-12, B'haalot'cha. I hadn't paid too much attention to which book we were supposed to read, and actually had gotten a few books ahead of the game.
In this book, the Israelites were griping about the lousy accommodations in the desert and Moses' faulty leadership. But management, in the form of Aaron and Miriam, Moses' siblings, got in on the act, criticizing Moses for marrying an outsider--a criticism that seemed to have racist overtones, since the word used to describe his wife might be one that describes a person of a dark-skinned nationality. The thing is, no one is exactly sure what this ancient Hebrew means in a given context, so it's anyone's guess.
It's kind of like that classic mistranslation of Cinderella's slipper. In the French, it was made out of "vair"--fur; but the translator read it as "verre"--glass. So we in English are stuck with images of a glass slipper in our heads that did not exist in the original. Of course, as one who believes that every reading necessarily transforms a text, even if it is nominally in one's own language to begin with, I don't mind that so much.
Moses, in turn, complains to God that he has had enough of all of this kvetching. And God, his alter-ego, who acts on mild-mannered Moses' impulses, concocts punishments to fit the crimes. For the Israelites, who were complaining that they were sick of eating Manna, Manna, Manna every day, and demanded meat, he swept in millions of quail, which they gobbled avidly. Seeing them greedily stuffing their faces, God struck them with a plague, which killed thousands of them.
Then God called out Aaron and Miriam, but as usual, Aaron was spared. We have all noted this, and have become fed up with his continual escape from punishment, though one might very well argue that seeing his sons' destruction was punishment enough, since God zapped them for not following instructions exactly during their first gig as priests in the Temple. Instead, Miriam gets struck with a kind of leprosy that covers her skin with white scales, rendering her impure. This causes her to be excluded from the community for 7 days. It probably would have been worse, but her brothers prayed for her healing, and the people, usually impatient at best, waited for her to be allowed back into the camp before packing up and leaving again.
I see where Dante got his idea for inventive and appropriate punishments. It's right there in the Bible.
In this book, the Israelites were griping about the lousy accommodations in the desert and Moses' faulty leadership. But management, in the form of Aaron and Miriam, Moses' siblings, got in on the act, criticizing Moses for marrying an outsider--a criticism that seemed to have racist overtones, since the word used to describe his wife might be one that describes a person of a dark-skinned nationality. The thing is, no one is exactly sure what this ancient Hebrew means in a given context, so it's anyone's guess.
It's kind of like that classic mistranslation of Cinderella's slipper. In the French, it was made out of "vair"--fur; but the translator read it as "verre"--glass. So we in English are stuck with images of a glass slipper in our heads that did not exist in the original. Of course, as one who believes that every reading necessarily transforms a text, even if it is nominally in one's own language to begin with, I don't mind that so much.
Moses, in turn, complains to God that he has had enough of all of this kvetching. And God, his alter-ego, who acts on mild-mannered Moses' impulses, concocts punishments to fit the crimes. For the Israelites, who were complaining that they were sick of eating Manna, Manna, Manna every day, and demanded meat, he swept in millions of quail, which they gobbled avidly. Seeing them greedily stuffing their faces, God struck them with a plague, which killed thousands of them.
Then God called out Aaron and Miriam, but as usual, Aaron was spared. We have all noted this, and have become fed up with his continual escape from punishment, though one might very well argue that seeing his sons' destruction was punishment enough, since God zapped them for not following instructions exactly during their first gig as priests in the Temple. Instead, Miriam gets struck with a kind of leprosy that covers her skin with white scales, rendering her impure. This causes her to be excluded from the community for 7 days. It probably would have been worse, but her brothers prayed for her healing, and the people, usually impatient at best, waited for her to be allowed back into the camp before packing up and leaving again.
I see where Dante got his idea for inventive and appropriate punishments. It's right there in the Bible.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Loose Ends
I continued to persevere today to finish my syllabus and to get that check of my parents' taken care of, as well as calling hither and yon to arrange change of address stuff. We got the medallion signatures and will now send the check back to be rewritten in my father's name. We were not able to figure out how to get a joint account, though I have some ideas for the future I want to pursue.
Visiting my parents' house today made me feel very sad that he is leaving. The owner's wife is a really nice person, very kind, but yesterday, the caregiver gave my dad the wrong amount of medication. Luckily, he knows what he is supposed to take. But he didn't say anything to her because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. I told him that someone's life could depend on that information, so please tell the caregiver when it happens. But my dad is essentially a very kind and sensitive person. I have always known that. Even when he was a brutal monster, it seemed, down underneath, this person was always there.
Visiting my parents' house today made me feel very sad that he is leaving. The owner's wife is a really nice person, very kind, but yesterday, the caregiver gave my dad the wrong amount of medication. Luckily, he knows what he is supposed to take. But he didn't say anything to her because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. I told him that someone's life could depend on that information, so please tell the caregiver when it happens. But my dad is essentially a very kind and sensitive person. I have always known that. Even when he was a brutal monster, it seemed, down underneath, this person was always there.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Jeremy again
When Jeremy gets his driver's license back in February, he is planning to move out of the house. Like any kid his age, he can't wait to go. I remember that feeling, and sympathize, but I am really concerned about his plans.
Jeremy likes nice places, even though he doesn't have much money, so he is planning to move in with 4 people who work at Ralph's--one of them a girl, a former student of mine, who I don't like very much at all. And she is going to be his roommate.
It is not just because she didn't do any work in my class and stopped coming almost immediately (though that doesn't help, of course), but also because she seems like a completely inane and stupid girl, who will set him back, just when he has begun to make progress on his education.
As far as I know, he hasn't really gotten involved with anyone, hasn't even dated anyone more than once. And it's about time, I guess, that he try it, but I really don't like the idea of him signing a year lease with this girl, living in a room with her. I think it will make it impossible for him to continue in school, just because she is such a goofball.
He sat down with me and told me his plans, to get my input, so I gave it to him, that I don't like this girl, that I think he is making a mistake. I thought his friend Scott and he were going to share a room, but the place is too expensive for Scott. It must then also be too expensive for Jeremy, but he'll find out the hard way, and then we'll end up paying for it; that is my fear.
Jeremy wanted us to move into a one bedroom apartment after he left, but considering how many clothes and books I have--we have, as far as books are concerned--and how crowded and cluttered our two bedroom place is, I don't like that idea at all. Richard was thinking if we moved into a one bedroom we'd have more money for Jeremy's new place. I don't think that's a good idea either. He needs to find out what it is like to have to pay for things himself. We'll continue to pay for his education, but not this. Because it isn't a good idea, not the way he's set it up. Not at all.
I suppose I am just another worried parent. But that's the way it is.
Jeremy likes nice places, even though he doesn't have much money, so he is planning to move in with 4 people who work at Ralph's--one of them a girl, a former student of mine, who I don't like very much at all. And she is going to be his roommate.
It is not just because she didn't do any work in my class and stopped coming almost immediately (though that doesn't help, of course), but also because she seems like a completely inane and stupid girl, who will set him back, just when he has begun to make progress on his education.
As far as I know, he hasn't really gotten involved with anyone, hasn't even dated anyone more than once. And it's about time, I guess, that he try it, but I really don't like the idea of him signing a year lease with this girl, living in a room with her. I think it will make it impossible for him to continue in school, just because she is such a goofball.
He sat down with me and told me his plans, to get my input, so I gave it to him, that I don't like this girl, that I think he is making a mistake. I thought his friend Scott and he were going to share a room, but the place is too expensive for Scott. It must then also be too expensive for Jeremy, but he'll find out the hard way, and then we'll end up paying for it; that is my fear.
Jeremy wanted us to move into a one bedroom apartment after he left, but considering how many clothes and books I have--we have, as far as books are concerned--and how crowded and cluttered our two bedroom place is, I don't like that idea at all. Richard was thinking if we moved into a one bedroom we'd have more money for Jeremy's new place. I don't think that's a good idea either. He needs to find out what it is like to have to pay for things himself. We'll continue to pay for his education, but not this. Because it isn't a good idea, not the way he's set it up. Not at all.
I suppose I am just another worried parent. But that's the way it is.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Postscript
It seems Suzie may not take the job after all. The owner of the old place was so enraged when I told them we were not staying that he threatened to hurt Suzie anyway, even if going with us was not her idea but mine. Her brother was afraid and told her she shouldn't take the job. I think she will eventually make her way, even if she doesn't take the job, but frankly, I am worried about my mother. I think in a totally new place with unfamiliar caregivers, she will not be okay. I don't want to leave her in the old place now, without caregivers at all and give the guy the satisfaction that he kept us from leaving, controlled us. He is a bully.
Mishaps Come In Threes
Today was a trying day. First thing this morning, I got an email about the account I tried to set up for my parents so I could cash that check. Guess what? It didn't work. They won't accept mom without a DMV ID, and the state won't issue her one because she was not born in the U.S. and has no alternative ID. And round and round we go!
So after yoga class, I picked them up at the house and was heading out to the bank when... my back tire blew! I pulled into the nearest turn lane and called AAA and Richard. Luckily, we were only a street away from home, so he came and got them and took them to our house. A cop pulled up behind me and protected us till he came and got them, and then the AAA guy came and changed the tire to the spare, and I drove up the street to the garage. Two tires later, I drove to my parents' house and paid the rent for the days we will be there. I tried to call the owner of the house, but he is in Las Vegas with his family, so I just told the administrator. They don't even HAVE a caregiver at the house, just the administrator. She told me she thought I was doing the right thing because my mom is really freaked out with Suzie gone. She is taking all her clothes out of the closet and is anxious and fretful. When the administrator bathed her, she didn't want to take the towel away from her body. She was reluctant to let this stranger touch her. So it will be good for her to be with Suzie, even if it is a totally new place, which is bound to be a bit confusing at first.
Monday I'll try to take care of the bank business and ask the credit union whether they would set up such an account for my parents if I am on it too.
So after yoga class, I picked them up at the house and was heading out to the bank when... my back tire blew! I pulled into the nearest turn lane and called AAA and Richard. Luckily, we were only a street away from home, so he came and got them and took them to our house. A cop pulled up behind me and protected us till he came and got them, and then the AAA guy came and changed the tire to the spare, and I drove up the street to the garage. Two tires later, I drove to my parents' house and paid the rent for the days we will be there. I tried to call the owner of the house, but he is in Las Vegas with his family, so I just told the administrator. They don't even HAVE a caregiver at the house, just the administrator. She told me she thought I was doing the right thing because my mom is really freaked out with Suzie gone. She is taking all her clothes out of the closet and is anxious and fretful. When the administrator bathed her, she didn't want to take the towel away from her body. She was reluctant to let this stranger touch her. So it will be good for her to be with Suzie, even if it is a totally new place, which is bound to be a bit confusing at first.
Monday I'll try to take care of the bank business and ask the credit union whether they would set up such an account for my parents if I am on it too.
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