This morning I went to my parents' house at 7 AM and made waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. I had wanted to bring the Trader Joe's frozen fried potatoes with wild mushrooms, but I forgot it, so we had to do without one more carb!
My mother was asleep, though I'm told she was up most of the night, busily trying to escape from her hospital bed. Luckily, she couldn't manage it. She looked as much out of it as she had in the hospital. The caregiver told me I needed to buy her some clothes that would not put pressure on her leg because her pants won't work. They are all too restrictive. So I went shopping today and bought two dresses--a button down and a knit one-- a nightshirt, and a pair of shorts with an elastic waist. I know that isn't much, but it's all I could find today. I thought I'd find those housedresses people used to wear, but there weren't any in her size.
My dad, Richard, and Jeremy loved the waffles. The Filipino caregivers thought they looked gross I guess. They didn't want any. I chopped my mom's waffles up and fed some to her, asking her if she liked them. She said no, but she kept on opening her mouth for more.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Dealing with People
Remember that student I have who lost her fiance, but decided to stay in the class anyway? Well, she turned in one of those terrible papers with no research and no evidence from the text at all. I gave her a D+, which was kind, actually, but I told her that she needs to do better than that on the final paper or she will not pass the class. I felt awful asking her to do more, but she was the one who insisted on staying in the class, against everyone's advice.
And the other student with sickle cell anemia? No paper at all. Sigh.
And the other student with sickle cell anemia? No paper at all. Sigh.
Silly Saturday
My Saturday started early, at the Farmers Market with dad. Then I went to Laguna to yoga class, with my very pregnant Brazilian teacher, Isabella. She is a very gifted teacher, and I always learn something new when I study with her.
I met someone at yoga that struck me in some ways as a younger (much younger) version of me. She is clearly from a Jewish background, and has the same long, straggly, curly hair that I used to have at that age. She said she grew up in Northern New Jersey, near New York, same region of the world I come from, though not identical. She is a dancer, and is writing a memoir, an "inspirational memoir" she said, about how she overcame her difficulties. At her age, which is probably late 20s, I thought that a bit ridiculous, but I didn't say anything of course, but just listened. After all, I don't know what it was she overcame, and maybe her triumph is quite noteworthy after all.
Despite yoga and all my best efforts, I am a bit frazzled these days. I have three times in the past two weeks dropped my car keys inside the car without noticing it, and of course, locked the door behind me, making it necessary to call Richard to bail me out. Today, I had $66. worth of frozen food and meat in the trunk at the time, so I begged Richard to overcome his anger and come help me, given that I was only about 5 minutes from the house by car.
I'm trying to make it out of this semester in one piece, with my car keys, in time to put all my groceries in the fridge!
I met someone at yoga that struck me in some ways as a younger (much younger) version of me. She is clearly from a Jewish background, and has the same long, straggly, curly hair that I used to have at that age. She said she grew up in Northern New Jersey, near New York, same region of the world I come from, though not identical. She is a dancer, and is writing a memoir, an "inspirational memoir" she said, about how she overcame her difficulties. At her age, which is probably late 20s, I thought that a bit ridiculous, but I didn't say anything of course, but just listened. After all, I don't know what it was she overcame, and maybe her triumph is quite noteworthy after all.
Despite yoga and all my best efforts, I am a bit frazzled these days. I have three times in the past two weeks dropped my car keys inside the car without noticing it, and of course, locked the door behind me, making it necessary to call Richard to bail me out. Today, I had $66. worth of frozen food and meat in the trunk at the time, so I begged Richard to overcome his anger and come help me, given that I was only about 5 minutes from the house by car.
I'm trying to make it out of this semester in one piece, with my car keys, in time to put all my groceries in the fridge!
Friday, May 7, 2010
If It's Friday, the Phone Must Be Ringing
Today I took the cat back to the vet, where I learned he caught a virus, which is causing him to sneeze. The vet gave me a prescription to pick up at a human pharmacy, an over the counter allergy medication, and hypoallergenic pill pockets to hide the pill in. But I never got to buy it.
I was too busy first grading the awful essays, some of them research essays with two sources, instead of the very reasonable 5 sources I requested. Then I made samples to discuss with the class, and by that time, it was time to go pick up my mother at the hospital. Only I thought better of it. How on earth would I get her in and out of the car without re-injuring her leg? So I asked that she be taken home in an ambulance, and that didn't happen for 4 hours after I arrived in the hospital, after the surgeon visited and rewrapped the wound, with my help, and the nurse changed her gown (I forgot to bring her clothes), and after I signed the release paper and got medication and on and on and on... you all know how it goes in hospitals, which are like casinos in that they are meant to remain twilight zones, without time.
But finally, she got home, and I left her propped in bed eating her mushed up dinner, happy and comfortable, smiling again.
I was too busy first grading the awful essays, some of them research essays with two sources, instead of the very reasonable 5 sources I requested. Then I made samples to discuss with the class, and by that time, it was time to go pick up my mother at the hospital. Only I thought better of it. How on earth would I get her in and out of the car without re-injuring her leg? So I asked that she be taken home in an ambulance, and that didn't happen for 4 hours after I arrived in the hospital, after the surgeon visited and rewrapped the wound, with my help, and the nurse changed her gown (I forgot to bring her clothes), and after I signed the release paper and got medication and on and on and on... you all know how it goes in hospitals, which are like casinos in that they are meant to remain twilight zones, without time.
But finally, she got home, and I left her propped in bed eating her mushed up dinner, happy and comfortable, smiling again.
One task down, a few more to go
This coming week is the last full week of class in the semester. I will be giving back one set of execrable papers and picking up drafts for another, which I hope will be better, but have little reason, in truth, for that hope. It is still an independent research paper, and the students have shown themselves mostly to be incapable of this--mostly because the topic involves textual analysis rather than sociological issues. It seems that sticking with such issues will be a better idea, unless one does a study of a particular theme or kind of text , or works by one author/filmmaker. So a class in Kubrick might work, with research papers about one of his films, but that will probably not occupy more than one or two research papers, rather than the 3 or so I'd like their topic to examine.
The thing that bothers me most about these papers is the feeling that I have not been able to do my job as well as I would have liked to this time. It is both what is happening with my parents and the topic of the class that has kept me from teaching them to write argument and research topics as well as I would have liked. It isn't for lack of trying; something just had to give, I suppose. And being overly ambitious about taking on a new topic now was clearly a mistake. SO I guess I have learned something, and can go on to the next thing... preparing summer's syllabus and assignments.
The thing that bothers me most about these papers is the feeling that I have not been able to do my job as well as I would have liked to this time. It is both what is happening with my parents and the topic of the class that has kept me from teaching them to write argument and research topics as well as I would have liked. It isn't for lack of trying; something just had to give, I suppose. And being overly ambitious about taking on a new topic now was clearly a mistake. SO I guess I have learned something, and can go on to the next thing... preparing summer's syllabus and assignments.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Today
I visited the hospital again, to find mom sitting in her chair. While she was visibly in better physical shape than yesterday, she was definitely more confused, hallucinating and not at all sure what had happened to her or where she was. She kept saying her leg was too big, and she couldn't get up. I kept telling her she broke it, but she didn't understand, or she understood for a moment, then forgot again. It is strange because yesterday she was more aware and clear-headed than I have seen her in years.
She chatted to me, though the nurses and doctors said she wouldn't talk to them at all, asking where Jeremy and Richard were. I told her she would be going home tomorrow, and that seems to be the case. The doctor says he will send her to the board and care because the therapists (Occupational and physical) can come to the house and work with her. It's not as though she will ever be able to walk again. She had already forgotten how to do that before she broke her leg. It's probably part of why she broke her leg.
A nutritionist came in and I ordered mom's food for this evening and tomorrow, all things I know she likes. I hope she enjoys them. I am not sure how much of it she'll be there to eat tomorrow.
Today was rope yoga in Laguna. Tomorrow I cannot go to yoga because I must take the cat back to the vet (he's been sneezing) and pick mom up at the hospital.
The future is uncertain. I am nervous about mom breaking a leg, arm, hip again. She definitely will try to get up as soon as the cast is removed. Her blood pressure is problematic as well, and the doctors raised her medication.
She chatted to me, though the nurses and doctors said she wouldn't talk to them at all, asking where Jeremy and Richard were. I told her she would be going home tomorrow, and that seems to be the case. The doctor says he will send her to the board and care because the therapists (Occupational and physical) can come to the house and work with her. It's not as though she will ever be able to walk again. She had already forgotten how to do that before she broke her leg. It's probably part of why she broke her leg.
A nutritionist came in and I ordered mom's food for this evening and tomorrow, all things I know she likes. I hope she enjoys them. I am not sure how much of it she'll be there to eat tomorrow.
Today was rope yoga in Laguna. Tomorrow I cannot go to yoga because I must take the cat back to the vet (he's been sneezing) and pick mom up at the hospital.
The future is uncertain. I am nervous about mom breaking a leg, arm, hip again. She definitely will try to get up as soon as the cast is removed. Her blood pressure is problematic as well, and the doctors raised her medication.
A Little Death on a Spring Day
So far, my parents are still chugging along. My mom had another operation last night, the last (we hope), closing the wound and removing the apparatus that keeps her tethered to the hospital. In a few days, if we are lucky, I will take her home to the board and care, where I hope the caregivers will be able to keep her safe, keep her from re-breaking the leg, or breaking the other, or killing herself in some other way.
But I heard of the impending death of a yoga friend, Kathy Ricci. Kathy is an inspiring person, an Iyengar yoga teacher I had never really spoken to until I received notice that she was fighting a case of incurable cancer. This went on for years. Kathy was buoyant, she fought on, despite lack of insurance, since she could no longer teach yoga of course. Her friends cared for and supported her. They lived with her and made sure she had everything she needed. I wrote her supportive notes on email, and attended a workshop benefit for her this past year that raised thousands of dollars for her medical care.
She has gone onto hospice, and it is expected that she will die within about 10 days. Though I really didn't know her before all this started, I feel as if I am losing a friend who has taught me about how to face the ultimate loss staunchly and with hope.
But I heard of the impending death of a yoga friend, Kathy Ricci. Kathy is an inspiring person, an Iyengar yoga teacher I had never really spoken to until I received notice that she was fighting a case of incurable cancer. This went on for years. Kathy was buoyant, she fought on, despite lack of insurance, since she could no longer teach yoga of course. Her friends cared for and supported her. They lived with her and made sure she had everything she needed. I wrote her supportive notes on email, and attended a workshop benefit for her this past year that raised thousands of dollars for her medical care.
She has gone onto hospice, and it is expected that she will die within about 10 days. Though I really didn't know her before all this started, I feel as if I am losing a friend who has taught me about how to face the ultimate loss staunchly and with hope.
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