Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Holiday Angst

I am a very sociable person. I like being with people, getting to know them, chatting, and eating with them. However, my family isn't like me in that way.
My son and my husband would rather stay home watching games on television, talking about sports. My husband would rather be at the range, hitting balls, or in the garage, poking balls into holes on the pool table. (But isn't this what groups of men generally end up doing together, even when large families gather?)
Though on most days I go to yoga class or on hikes, holidays are meant to be spent with family, eating and talking. But my family just views them as a chore, while I, without siblings or close-by relations, long to cook with a group of chatting and laughing friends or family, and to eat what we cooked together, talking about old times and times to come.
So I end up forcing my family to eat what I have grudgingly cooked. No one has a good time. All holidays at my house seem to end up like this, especially Thanksgiving.
I guess I could insist we go out to eat. That might be a compromise. We've done it before. Too bad, because leftovers on Thanksgiving are a GOOD thing, even my family acknowledges that. Cold stuffing for breakfast is a delight not to be missed, as I'm sure some of you would agree.
Relationships are tough. Holidays are tougher. And this is just the start of the holiday season.


marly youmans said...

You need to be in whatever the Jewish equivalent of koinonia (also called "foyers" in some places) is--in many Christian churches, people are randomly (or sometimes less randomly) i assigned to groups of 6-12 members, and in the course of a season or year, you dine with each member or couple once a month. The next year you meet a different group. Does that have some kind of parallel in your synagogue?

You like to cook. Why don't you ask friends that you and Richard like for Thanksgiving. The guys can always go in the next room and watch a ball game...

Robbi said...

We don't have this. It has been tried; it was called "Shabbat with Friends," and people cooked shabbat dinner (Fri. night) once a month for a group. But no one participated, or not enough.

Robbi said...

RE: asking people R likes, he doesn't want anyone here. Being with people, even those he likes, often stresses him out. I am the opposite, unfortunately.