When my son was small, Richard and I often had to intervene in the process of his education. Because he has Tourette and other disorders, teachers frequently treated him unfairly, not understanding the nature of this disabilities. I made myself a total pest, speaking with teachers, demanding meetings, getting an advocate, even threatening lawsuits when I thought it was necessary.
But now he is almost all grown up, about finished with high school. It seems though that there are still some inequities to deal with, involving his baseball team. Jeremy is a natural athlete. All those things that make it difficult for him to sit still--his tightly wound energy, his need to move, his obsessive hyperfocusing on certain details and ideas to the detriment of everything else--make him a very good baseball player. Though he isn't the shining star of the field as he was when he was younger, he's a very very good second baseman, a good thirdbaseman, and a pretty good shortstop as well. So I have had trouble with the fact that Jeremy has mostly sat games out on the bench this year because others with more time and money to devote to the program want their own kids in the infield, even if they cannot perform nearly as well in these positions as Jeremy can. Add to this a coach who clearly does not understand or appreciate Jeremy or his neurological profile and will not even permit him to see his doctor for med checks every other month as the law requires and you get angry resentful parents, who nonetheless must keep their mouths shut, since this apparently is the unspoken rule of high school baseball. DON'T BOTHER/QUESTION/SECOND GUESS the COACH!!! (Even, I might add, if he is an asshole.)
The outrages he has perpetrated this season have been many and varied. First he let Jeremy play 2nd base, and he performed very well--except that his batting was awful. For that reason, he removed Jeremy from second and sent him to the bench, replacing him with others he already knew did not like and were not adequate in this position. Then he brought up a freshman and put him there. The kid is very talented, but no better than my son, who is three years his elder, on the base, and lots worse at the bat. So we've stewed and I mentally threw darts at the coach's eyeballs for weeks until the kid at 2nd broke his leg. I am very sorry he broke his leg, but now Jeremy is back on base, and doing very well at the bat, thanks.
5 comments:
My son played little league baseball and AYSO soccer for years - since age 41/2. We were always lucky and thankful for coaches who were fair and understood it was Rec sports. Until he was 11 and baseball season rolled around. Matthew is an average player with a lot of enthusiasm. But the two coaches had boys on the team. Those two boys played infield and never missed an inning. Matthew played only outfield and usually sat out, with two other boys, three of the 6 innings. My son, a good sport who always has a smile and loves to play on teams, who never has complained about losing , who just likes to have fun, came home after the third game in a row where he sat out three innings and played outfield for three, and cried. He said , "Mom, baseball used to be fun but now the coaches only care about winning. Why was I here for three hours? my new position is bench warmer. Im just a kid who wants to play baseball and have fun". I explained that we had been lucky for all the years where it has been fun and that as he got older, it would get more competitive and less "fun". I asked first, if he wanted me to talk to the coach and he said NO WAY and then second, if he would like to leave the team - something I had never encouraged (commitment and all that). AGain ,he said no, and that he wanted to finish the season and not let his friends down. But concluded that he would never play baseball again. That was the end of baseball.
Robbi, I hope Jeremy is enjoying and hits that ball right out of the stadium!!!!!
Melanie
What a fabulous photo--that stance, that muscle, that hit! Way to go, Jeremy!
I didn't take the photo, Lou. A dad, one of the ones who volunteers a lot of his time for the team and consequently gets to make decisions about which kids go where, took it. I am grateful to him for it. I don't have the ability or the equipment to take such a picture.
Melanie, I understand what you are saying. As a parent of one of the talented kids on Little League, I wondered about the other ones who, like myself, didn't have that ability. But I wanted the team to win, especially since my son was the star. I'm sorry to hear your son never played baseball again. I've heard that story before.
terrific pic, powerful story. he's lucky to have you two as parents.
Thanks Reb. It's a tough job being a parent, especially to a kid with challenges, and who doesn't have at least a few of those. Jeremy has been a trooper though. He's a wonderful boy.
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