We visited my dad again. Richard drove us; my car is still sitting at the repair shop, waiting for mechanics to look at it tomorrow and offer a diagnosis.
My mom was miserable today, a pouting child. She didn't feel well, was coughing, and when I arrived, had bundled herself up in 2 complete outfits, the top pair of pants covered with feathery white shreds of tissue. I stripped her, and began proffering various pairs of pants to go with a striped turtleneck I bought her last year. She never wore it, though it looks very nice on her. None of the pants worked. One was shut tight at the bottom of one leg by some sort of sticky gelatinous substance. I don't want to know what it was. I threw it into the laundry. The others were either too big or too tight at the top. I don't know what happened to the half dozen pairs of pants and shirts I bought her in the last month. Only one of the outfits was available, and the top to go with it was nowhere in sight.
The whole time she shrieked that the room was freezing (it wasn't even slightly chilly) and that the clothes were cold and that no one cared about her, only about dad. She wanted to go back to Philadelphia and live alone in the house. When I told her the house now belonged to someone else and that she needed us to take care of her, she said that I was horrible to her. Even though I knew it wasn't true, it hurt me, and I my head spun with frustration and anxiety. I went hot and cold, got angry, etc.
After all, I was taking her to see dad, not forcing her to do something awful or painful. I was tempted to leave her home and go without her, and perhaps that would have been the right thing to do.
When we got there, with her grumbling that she looked disgraceful (she looked fine) and that no one who cared about her would allow her to set foot outside dressed in that way, dad was fine. He looked so much better after his two blood transfusions, and the nurse and doctors said he would probably be released this weekend. He had shaved and was doing puzzles, and was looking forward to watching the Rose Bowl on TV.
I don't know about her now. I will have to keep my eye on her; I hope I don't end up in the emergency room with her a couple of days from now.
6 comments:
Good news about your father feeling more chipper. Your mom--alas. If you'd left her behind, she would not have liked that either. Each time, you make the best call you can make.
I wish I had not lost my temper. I will try to do better next time.
Robbi,
Being a only child(women) puts alot of stress on you, having to care for elderly partents. You have been more than patient and loving. It is ok, and understandable that you get frustrated with your parents and lost your temper. I am sure your mother deserved it. LOL.
Beth
Beth,
She is certainly tough to deal with, but I have to keep it in perspective because she isn't capable of doing any better than she does.
Going out of the room and getting away for a minute can help. Don't beat yourself up for getting mad because it's impossible not to sometimes. Just let it go; you're being a great daughter.
Thanks Marly.
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