I interrogated Jeremy this morning before he went to school, eager to learn something about his experience at the prom. But as I expected, he simply repeated, as a p.o.w. might his name and serial number, "It went fine." No enthusiasm. No giveaway facial expression. Nothing.
This is typical for boys, I am told. Certainly Jeremy has not told me anything of consequence since perhaps kindergarten, and even then, he was reluctant to say anything.
As a child of about 10, when he had problems with a medication and needed to see a therapist, he would say nothing as long as my husband and I were in the room. I suspect he said little even after we left the room. The therapist and he played checkers or some other game, and probably said little that was not related to the game. When he first visited his psychiatrist, he ran away at UCI Medical Center and had to be hauled back by the police.
So I gave up. No prom related news to report, unfortunately.
I am sure that had Jeremy been female, he would have gabbed insessantly about what happened at the prom. I didn't go to the prom myself; besides the fact that no one at my high school wanted to go out with me (except one or two who wanted not only to date but to marry me, but whom I did not care to have this kind of relationship with), it wasn't considered cool to go to the prom when I graduated. We ridiculed those who went. Instead, we attended political events, like sit-ins and moratoriums, and occasionally smoked dope and went down the shore. Or others did... marijuana just made me sneeze.
So we were amused to hear about the scandalous incidents that unfolded there... the acid-spiked punch bowl claimed the class president and prom king and queen as victims. Reportedly, they fell down a flight of stairs. An awful time was had by all, or so I heard. Since I once myself fell victim to acid-spiked jello salad, I wouldn't be surprised at all if this were true.
Things have apparently changed quite a bit. Jeremy's friend did tell me a little about the prom. It almost ended early for him when he inadvertently offended his date by not clearing out when she wanted to talk about him with her friend. He said they patched things up, and continued to party until about 3 AM. But no details were forthcoming, even from him.
5 comments:
Robbi,
Of course, you were not going ot get any information from Jeremy. My son was the same way. I am sure he danced and hung out with friends. I was also curious about what my son did at these dances and was not albe to get any info out my son or his friends. My son still does not give up details
Beth
If I think about my teenage years--and I was a GIRL--I certainly was not telling my mother what I was doing while with friends. Though I suspect that because she and I did talk, I told her enough to keep her happy and myself private. It's hard to grow up. It's even harder to be the parent of someone who is trying to grow up. Hang in there, Robbi.
I know I seldom told my parents anything of consequence because they would have had conniptions if they had known what I was up to. I am sure that it's a similar situation for Jeremy. But somehow I had hoped that he would trust me more than I trusted my parents. Fat chance!
Alas. You are the person on the other end of the string he's trying to cut. He can't be close to you right now. :-( Maybe later.
Jeremy and I have always had special issues, since he was tiny. Many kids with TS beat up on their moms from the time they are small. The docs say it is because they trust us, oddly. They know our love is unconditional, so it is safe to turn their rages on us, but not on others, who will turn away. So Jeremy and I have had this dynamic always. He loves me and in some ways is very close to me, even now, but he just isn't a talker (not about his feelings, anyhow). He gets that from Richard, I think.
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