The child is father to the neurosis

All these years that my son has been on medication, I have known somewhere in my head that it was as much for me as for himself. He first went on the current meds at about age 10 after a terrible period of rage, aggression, anxiety, and unhappiness for all of us. He was prone to enormous mood swings, self-destructive tics, and rage, and this wrecked havoc in the household, as one might imagine. It was particularly hard on me, since I was the focus for much of the rage, being a safe person he could release it on without losing my love and affection. He would hold it together at school most of the time and with his friends, but as soon as he walked through the door, watch out! Homework time was particularly difficult, being a focus for all of his frustration because of accompanying learning disabilities.
Now that he is going to be 18, however, he has gone of his medication, with the support of the psychiatrist. I have been very anxious about this, hoping that those bad old days would not return. Generally, I have been pleasantly surprised that he has grown into a person with coping mechanisms. Gone are the tremendous mood swings, though he still has minor ones, a bit more intense than the average person's, but not terrible. The tics are virtually gone, at least for the moment. I know that Tourette can be deceptive because it moves in cycles, and the tics might emerge again at some later date, but for the moment, they are not in evidence, not even the minor, irrelevant arm tics or throat clearing. I haven't noticed that his obsessions or compulsions have worsened either, though he's very secretive about them. What has happened though is that he is entirely oppositional once again. We cannot tell him anything, give him any instructions, or enforce rules. He just will not tolerate it.
He has taken to regarding laws as irrelevant too, insisting, for example, that he will use his cell phone without a wireless device if he wants to, and no one can make him stop. If he is indeed caught doing that, I have told him I will discontinue paying for the phone plan, but he doesn't care. Yesterday he slipped into the movie theater twice in one day without paying. I don't know what else he is doing. It scares me.
He is also continuing to download music on his computer illegally. Our unsuccessful trial of Rhapsody didn't replace that because it is unreasonably expensive. In addition to the $15. per month I was paying (with 10 free downloads), every piece of music costs another dollar on top of that. He downloads maybe 100 songs per month onto his IPod. Clearly, that wasn't possible. I couldn't get him to stop.
He pays no attention to me or to Richard, though paradoxically, he still calls and asks for permission to stay out after work. If we say no, he often goes ahead and does it anyway.
Maybe a lot of this is typical for the age, but knowing Jeremy, it's far more intense. That would be typical for him.
I have made an appointment with the doctor for her to check him out, but truthfully, I am not sure we'll be able to stuff the genie back in the box. We can't force him to take the meds, even if she says he needs them.