Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Anxious

Part of the stomach stuff is no doubt attributable to the class. The other part is probably my dad. Then there's another thing: Jeremy. Jeremy is really being sweet these days, so it's not his behavior. It's just that I am doing a parental thing and worrying about his future.
He will be taking the assessment test at IVC tomorrow, and then will attend classes here, perhaps even during second summer session, if any are open by then. But he has already told me after taking four classes and perhaps passing 2, maybe one (we don't know yet) that he does not think he is really cut out for college. I think if he just agreed to use DS&P, things might be different, but it is up to him. But he would like to move out of the house.
We just don't have the money to do this for him, yet R. was talking about us moving into a one bedroom apartment so he could manage it. I don't think I could tolerate being an inch more cramped than I am now. Even if Jeremy were not living at the house, there would still be so much stuff, books, etc. We would be worse cramped than now, and my mess would accumulate faster. I couldn't stand that. He says not to worry, but I have been begging to move out for over a year now, and I don't want to wait much longer. It will always be something else.
Meanwhile, the apartment is a mess, the toilets don't work right, the stove is old and broken down, the carpets are disgusting, and the ceiling in the hall seems to be falling off piece by piece. Why should we pay the same thing we would pay for a brand new, clean apartment with working utilities just because it's difficult to move? I'm ready to pay for movers and do this thing myself, but know I can't because I can't pay for the security deposit. I'll just have to hang on a while more.

4 comments:

Lou said...

Call me old fashioned, but I think that when a person is ready to leave his parents' house, he goes on his own. If J doesn't want to go to college, you are right: that's his decision. So, time to look for real work and get on with life.

Robbi said...

Jeremy says that although he doesn't think he's really cut out for college, he feels he has to finish at least an AA. I am of course hoping that something strikes his fancy during those years. So far he has not done well, but I think his thinking and writing have matured, as have his work habits. College has been good for him so far.
He is working, but he isn't looking for a better job. He has no clue what he wants, and failed a career planning class. Maybe he could try that again?

marly said...

Nah, don't let him try c. p. again. If he hated it the first time, why do it again? He'll need to look around and let life push him around a bit, I imagine. Apprenticeship in something? He needs to wriggle about like water, seeking the right place to go, I imagine. I feel the same way about one of mine...

Robbi said...

He wants to finish two years of college. After that... who knows?
He isn't good with his hands. Like me and R., he's a mechanical klutz. He isn't going to be a plumber or mechanic. He's wonderful with children and with disabled people. If he were better at school, he'd be an excellent teacher or social worker or psychologist.