November already?

I cannot get over the idea that it is almost the end of the semester... hell, almost the end of the year. That this has been a difficult year is undeniable. Reading Lou's blog about the tremendous difficulties this year has brought her and her family (traumatic illnesses, financial crises, accidents, considerations for the future), I see that things could have been worse here.
I lost my parents back in June, and that of course haunts me all the time, nearly every day. When I sit in the car, the stillness scares me sometimes. When I come in from work, and there are seldom messages on my answering machine, it still feels wrong.
No one needs me to do this or that. While that is something of a relief, it feels sad and wrong sometimes too. There is no one now to do anything for but us, me, R, and J.
This strange weather is also a bit off-putting, and it saps my energy. I wonder if the intense heat at this late point in the year might mean that the big one, the earthquake we've been told to expect, is imminent. Last time we had a big earthquake, back in 1990, there was heat like this, but it was August. I heard somewhere that this sort of heat sometimes heralds earthquakes.
But probably it is just an anomaly, one last opportunity for people to hang out at the beach, as they were yesterday when I drove down to Laguna for yoga. I was very grateful for that yoga class, as my hip has been aching for days.
Tonight after yoga class I am supposed to call my old friend and have a long talk about the manuscript. Somehow I will manage that, even though I will not have had any supper beforehand. I'll eat some lunch today so I can manage that, though I generally don't. I'm a bit nervous. How many poems will she advise me to take out? How many will need to be given a great shaking, like old rugs? We'll see. Maybe the whole concept is wrong, and I'll have to begin again. This is what I asked for, so I have to be grateful.