Starting a new endeavor is rather frightening. Perhaps it is appropriate that today, on the first day of standard time, we begin the process of looking at houses. Liz, with her expertise in the business of buying and selling real estate, will look at a few places with me, though R has not yet filled out the papers so we can be pre-approved. There are many tempting sounding places out there, and I am afraid of being whipped into a frenzy, and buying from someone unscrupulous. We are not going to a particular person, but looking at things advertised online. The idea is to get a feel for things, not to go for a particular place yet at this point. I am going to have to restrain myself.
Although I'm pretty sure I don't have my father's bipolar disorder, per se, I do sometimes feel a proto-manic surge of unbounded energy and satisfaction. Right now, I feel those things, the sense that I am blessed in many ways that sometimes it is hard for me to see, and that things are going well. Knowing myself, I can wake up tomorrow with an altogether different sense of half-emptiness.
4 comments:
I don't quite understand the word "blessing," but I do know that the two times that I or my daughters inherited sums of money, I had a strong sense of responsibility, an understanding that those who had worked to save and use this money had passed it on to us for safekeeping, as if we were custodians of their hopes. In my older daughter's case, she used an inheritance to invest in a house--exactly what her grandparents valued. And in my case, I used an inheritance to invest in the house I already own--exactly what my parents valued, as well. As homeowners themselves, your parents would love knowing that you want to invest money they earned in a home of your own.
Lou,
You are right that my parents (and my uncle too) wanted me to have a home, and that I have long wanted one, just so I feel that I, like my parents, if I live as long as they did, will have a home to see if I need more help at some point.
I don't feel blessed just because of the money, but because I am writing, am doing yoga, am seeing the world in a clear way, etc. I feel powerful in some ways that I didn't used to feel, and that feels blessed to me. My family, R and J, are well and happy, and the world seems to hold out some good things in the future, if all goes well, with my cousin soon coming back from her band's tour in the States and finishing up the drawings for the yoga book, I hope. But I can turn on a dime.
Then empty your coin purse of dimes! Only lucky pennies. :-)
Right Lou.
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