I was just thinking last night as I listened to the Rabbi do his sermon, a first person look at the book of Genesis through the eyes of the major players and some of the minor ones, that in order for great psychic and spiritual change to take place, particularly in the Bible, it is necessary to uproot yourself in some basic way, to get thee hence to a new and unknown place, and begin again.
I don't know if this is true for the rest of you, but I always notice themes in my own life, constellations of events that fall together and seem to make pointed comments of various kinds. Whether these are invented or discovered, they are meaningful to me. Lately, with the news that my friends will be moving elsewhere and the word that a beloved choir member whose fanatical attention to musical detail has led us to sublime harmonies is being transferred to Oklahoma City for his job. If he leaves it, he may never get another, and he will lose his retirement and pension, which is about 3 years away.
These things dovetail with the feeling that I have had that with the death of my parents, I must change my life in significant ways. The change is slow in coming, though I am making an effort to be kind and nurturing to my students, more so than in the past, reaching out to people who I believe I can help in significant ways with concern and confidence building attention. This is new for me, and I hope will be fruitful.
And of course, I plan to move this year. I hope that this move will be connected with a successful effort to fight back the impulse to pile and to hoard things in the cupboard, the filing cabinet, and on the dining room table. I plan to have a table where people can actually meet to share a meal. I plan to have a home I can invite people to without embarrassment and undue explanation. I hope that I am successful in that.
In some sense, such a change will take me from a place of comfort, and so it should be. I will only be able to grow in important ways that way.