When I was about 12 years old, I went to the school psychologist and told her I felt constantly overwhelmed. The psychologist seemed to have no idea what I was talking about, while even I today, without the benefit of formal psychological training, would recognize the complaint as probable evidence of anxiety and most likely ADHD. Though I've been to lots of different therapists since that time, and take medication, as well as doing yoga, and all of these things have helped a lot, I occasionally am overcome by the feeling, irrationally, it seems to me, that I am being buried alive in the minutia of everyday life.
This is particularly so when a draft is due. Though I only teach two classes and now no longer have the responsibility of caring for my parents, I don't feel any different about this than I did when I really did have an impossible load of things to do. I still feel that I am not going to be able to get my work done, that I have taken on too much, that I cannot do as much as everyone else can. It seems that every time I turn around, there are conflicting commitments. But I refuse to give up my yoga. Without it, I would be lost. Even if it means I have to sacrifice many other things, that has to stay in my life. It will help me in the long run.
4 comments:
I think your feeling about students, drafts, all that is absolutely normal for the fifth week. It is overwhelming at this point to consider the seemingly impossible amount of teaching and learning that must go on. And yet, by the 12th or 14th week, the changes do take place. Students are in our classes because there are things they need to learn, and in another couple of months, they will have done some learning.
You are very wise Lou. It is inevitable that one feels this way on getting those drafts.
Lou is right, but I also think that we had the dubious luck to live in an accelerated kind of time... always too much to do. Many people feel it.
I felt it even as a child, Marly.
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