Thursday, June 17, 2010

Giving it another try

This evening, after yoga class in Laguna, I invited R and J to come to dinner with me in Laguna at the Mexican joint in the shopping center where my yoga class was. They met me right on time, in fact went to catch me at yoga, but I was too fast for them.
Jeremy was wonderful last night, staying with me when I was feeling fretful and upset, and I had a wonderful night sleep after that. But today we were back to our same old dynamic, with him asking me questions, which I then tried to answer, but apparently not in ways that pleased him. He was back to criticizing the smallest things I did. I just didn't have the strength to deal with it right now, despite a wonderful yoga interlude. I wish I could head some of that stuff off. Ignoring it is the best I can do, which then is seen as not hearing him. Oh well.

5 comments:

mym said...

Maybe turning it more toward what he thinks--asking him--might help. Then you can respond to what he thinks instead of coming up with "the wrong answer."

Lou said...

Have you tried telling him to stop?

Robbi said...

Sure I've asked him to stop. That just escalates the fight.
That sounds right, Marly. That might stop things in their tracks. He would surely be surprised.

Robin said...

Jeremy is a wonderful boy, and I think in the long term, he is listening to you. I don't think this problem will last much longer. He has shown so much love and support for you in so many ways these past few weeks, which have also been very hard on him as well. So, in spite of the fights and critical comments (which I hope he grows out of very soon!)his love and respect for you are clear. I am sure that one day, sooner than you think, he will be thanking you for being the wonderful, loving person you are!

Robbi said...

You are absolutely right, Robin, and he tells me all the time how much he loves me and what a good mom I have been to him. It is just as a person, with a relationship to him, that he criticizes me. Jeremy is one of those dangerous individuals with a very finely-tuned ability to sense emotional problems and blockages but also with an irritable and overly-critical temperament. He is like me, to the 10th power.