Sunday, June 6, 2010

A Little Help From My Friends

The funeral for my dad turned out to be a service and celebration for my mom as well. It couldn't have turned out nicer. The choir, on my request, sang "Eli Eli," a poem by Hannah Senezes, a victim of the Holocaust, who after escaping Hungary in the war, went back with the resistance to fight the Nazis and was caught. She died in the concentration camps. Even I chimed in. Then the rabbi did a very nice service, some of which he personalized to refer to my father and my mother. I delivered my eulogy, and Richard did a lovely extemporaneous remembrance of my father AND my mother too. He was going to play "Coming in on a Wing and a Prayer" on his harmonica, but he decided not to. Then we went to the board and care and did a lovely reception with tons of wonderful food, mostly the things I shopped for yesterday, which were a hit and were completely eaten.
I called the cemetary and asked them to cremate my mom so we could bury her ashes on Friday. The rabbi said he would come and do a service on Friday afternoon. We just have to talk to the mortuary and the cemetary and see if they can swing it. I hope so.
Tomorrow begins a whole different life, without my parents. I will go back to school and teach my class, and I will do what I want to do when I am not working. What a change. I don't think I'll know how to handle it to have my life back.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

So glad for you that, it is over. Oh, and that, the services went well! How is Jeremy, doing in all of this?

Berh

Michele said...

Robbi,
The funeral was a real tribute to your family as well as your parents' memory. It was beautiful and touching with recognition to past pain and misunderstanding towards anyone different. May you all find some rest and relief from worry now.

Robbi said...

Thank you Beth, Michele. Jeremy is fine. He didn't come to the reception, but he did call me afterwards, and told me how much he loves me and asks me what I need him to do to help.
Richard and I made a list, and Richard will stay home from work tomorrow and do those things. Jeremy will help him do some of them, like carrying my dad's worm farm over to our friend Ann Gray's house, to feed her roses and other plants. She also took some of dad's plants. One in particular was something I gave her, she gave back to me for my dad, and now took back to her house to nurse back to health.
I gave away some of mom's clothes to people from synagogue. The rest Jeremy and Richard will box up and take to the consignment store to be sold for money that will go to charity.
Michele, thanks so much for being there and for your kind words. Thank you for your good wishes.

Robbi said...

Jeremy just called and said a friend of his, Paul Wagner, son of Don Wagner, who is running for public office after being on the board at IVC, was found dead today in his car.
This is the second kid from the high school baseball team to die since graduation. So sad.

Rebel Girl said...

Robbi, the service today was indeed, a real heartfelt tribute. So nice too, to see your surrounded by so much love, so many lifting you and yours up. Stay strong.

marly said...

Robbi, don't think that wasn't your life! It will come back to you and bless you--and may even be a source for your own creativity. What a good daughter you have been... and that is a sustaining, enduring thought.

Lou said...

Indeed, the service was a tribute to both of your parents. To the end you have been a devoted daughter.

Robbi said...

Marly,
It has blessed me, and changed me too. But now my life is my own. I don't have to look after anyone but myself and occasionally Richard and Jeremy. I can think about what I want, and find I don't really know.
I will have to give it some thought.

Robin said...

The funeral service was very beautiful and moving, Robbi, and I'm glad that everyone worked in a tribute to both of your parents (so seamlessly, too!) into their comments and speeches. Lydia's passing was so sudden, but what a beautiful picture--to think of Mish calling to Lydia, and her going to him so soon.

I am also glad that your parents are free now, free of the illness and infirmities of the body. I like to think of them as being together, holding hands in a beautiful place, watching over you and smiling. They must be very, very proud of you, Robbi! What an amazing daughter you are!

Robbi said...

Thank you Robin. Thank all of you for the support and love you have given me.