Friday, June 4, 2010

What to Do?

I went to visit my mother today and found her looking as though she is about to die as well. She is completely unresponsive, and no longer accepts any food at all. The visiting doctor that I contracted to see her says she has perhaps a week to live if she continues not eating, and there is no sign she is able to eat at this point.
I don't know what to do. I must go back to work on Monday. Meanwhile, I have a huge big folder of papers to grade from this week's homework, and classes to plan for next week.
This seems an impossible task to me. The next 24 hours are hard enough, with tons of papers to fill out, requiring financial information that I have so much difficulty providing because my problems with math and my lack of organization. Meanwhile, the telephone company did NOT switch off the phone as ordered, and has at least a half hour wait on the phone.
Where should I start????


Rebel Girl said...

It is too much. Focus on what you can do and well, prioritize the rest and see what's possible.

For example, cosndiering your mother's condition, you might want to consider seeing if you can hand the class over to someone else - that would relieve you of that burden. Send a quick email to Kurt and Bill and see if there is a willing candidate.

Sigh - it's all so hard. But it helps if there is a bit less...

Lou said...

You may not like my suggestion, but if I were you, I would call Karima and Kurt, and drop your class. They will find someone to pick up and carry on. You are overwhelmed and need to cut yourself some room not only to take care of all this personal business, but to grieve. One person can only handle so much.

Robbi said...

I agree with you. I already emailed Kurt, though I did not suggest canceling the class or handing it to someone else quite yet. I just let him know what is going on. I hope he will look for someone who might want to take it.
I feel very bad about this. It is not fair to the students. But what else can I do? I'm having conniptions.

Rebel Girl said...


I think what's fair to the students is to give them a teacher who can focus on them more than you will be able to do - and that is also most or more fair to you and your family as well.

Think about it.

Good luck~~~

Anonymous said...

I just read this and the suggestions posted. It seems like too much to expect of yourself, to do everything. I have to agree with Lou---you will probably want some space and time for yourself and to grieve.

I hope you can do what is most nurturing for you.

the other L

Anonymous said...

Robbi, things have changed. I agree with Lou, cancel the class, and let someone else pick it up. Your priority is your Mom (family).
Let them do your job, and find someone else to teach it. :)

Anonymous said...

No bad feelings, family first :)


Robin said...

Robbi, it is time to take care of yourself. I agree with Rebel Girl and Lou. Contacting Kurt was the right thing, and like you, I hope he finds a candidate to take the class. I know it's difficult for the students, but you simply cannot keep on with the pace and pressure of summer session as well. Sometimes, as important as work is--life intervenes. And they are right. You need to grieve and rest. The students will be alright.

Even if Kurt and Bill weren't able to find anyone (worst case, and probably unlikely), classes get canceled all the time. I know I would understand if this happened to a professor of mine.

Manny and I will help you in any way we can. Take care, and call if you need anything!

Robin said...

One more thing, the more I think about it, the more I believe you should not only drop this class, but perhaps avoid teaching for the whole summer (if you have a class planned for next session). I think you really, really need the rest.

I also believe that somehow whatever financial considerations you may have (?) about not teaching will take care of themselves. I would only teach in these circumstances if you think it will refresh and lift your spirit after being away for a few weeks. You love teaching and are a great teacher, so I know this kind of decision is yours alone to make.

Robbi said...

I agree Reb. I will check my email and see what Kurt says. If he wants me to continue, I will try. The rabbi says I should just cremate my mother, as that will lend less urgency to the process, and her remains can be buried on the weekend. She didn't care about religion the way my dad did at the end.