Monday, May 24, 2010

Early Morning Sessions

Every morning between about 2:30 AM and 4:00 AM, I cannot sleep. It is not just the cat, pushing his wet nose into my ear, underarm, or any other body part that presents itself and begging for food. Once I am up, I cannot get back to sleep for the many many conundrums that present themselves. It is only by forcing myself to remain still, with my eyes closed, that I finally am able to sleep and to dream, invariably, troubling and repetitive dreams, like the ones I had this morning. In one of these, I saw that I had left the remnants of a meal in the back window of the car, and about 3 colonies of different kinds of ants were swarming everywhere in the back seat. I wondered how I was going to get rid of them without being painfully bitten and attacked.
In another dream, I learned that Richard had his own blog. It even had a name--Two Wheeler! The fact that he is a total Luddite who refuses to have a cell phone and stays away from computers as much as he can did not influence me in cooking up this anxiety dream, where I learned that he had a whole secret life he wrote about there and never told me about.
Naturally, it was thoughts about my mother that kept me up. I don't know what to do next. The doctor says he wants her to stay there 9 weeks--this is the orthopedic surgeon. He also wants to see her next week, and I am unsure how I will manage to transport her and who will accompany her. The doctor is only there on Monday. I suppose I should arrange that today. But there are too many things too many little things and big ones to arrange.

2 comments:

Lou said...

The anxiety surrounding all the kinds of responsibilities can make it all so much harder to bear. You might ask one of the many doctors for a prescription for something to help you sleep. Or try one of the PM over-the-counter meds. You need your sleep.

Robbi said...

I cannot take those medications. I became addicted to one of them last year, and couldn't sleep when I didn't take it. And it is also a problem because when the nursing home calls in the middle of the night, I must be able to jump out of bed and see to my mother's needs.